Old Friend

I remember when we were in 7th grade and it was the last band concert of the year. I was holding my bari and you came up to me and started putting eyeliner on me. You had only finished one eye when my dad wanted to snap a picture. We had looked back on that picture later on and you said that my bari sax looked way too big for me. It was true. I could play that thing while it rested on the floor. Even then it was still too big.

I remember when we went to UIL in 7th grade. The directors took us to Stonebriar before the concert. We were hanging out with some people, including Erum. We didn't really like her at the time (Erum, I love you now), so we kept running around trying to ditch her. This was also the day you gave me the nickname Niko Gaylord. I remember you wanted yours to be Watson Crick. 

I remember in 8th grade, I went to your house for your birthday party. You were having a pool party but I couldn't swim because I was on my period. You offered to let me use a tampon, but I didn't know how to use them yet. By the time the party was over, I had a huge brown stain on my blue shorts. It was embarrassing, but I was still glad that I was at the party. 

I remember in 8th grade when we all went to Kathrin's birthday party. We went bowling and then we went to her house to swim around in her huge hot tub. Your pants kept falling down and everyone was like "Woah, crack kills."  You probably don't think it was funny, but it was at the time. You didn't care back then.  

I remember one time when I was sleeping over at your house. I think I was there all weekend because my parents were on a business trip. We had just gotten to your house from doing something. The mall? FroYo? I don't know. But I remember being so tired when we got home that I fell asleep right on the floor. A few hours later, I found out y'all had gone to church and came back before I woke up. I was out like a light.

Here was our first day of high school.

I remember all of those times in Mr. Cox's class we wreaked havoc. We would ditch and not get in trouble. We would recommend a bunch of self help books to Mr. Cox. "I could write a book. It's gonna be called, How To Shoot a Freshman." We would throw tampons at that little Asian kid Imbum while making fun of his name. We weren't trying to be mean. I think he thought it was funny. I sure know we did.

We were the best of friends...

I remember when we went to Sandy Lake with my parents business partners. We went on all of the rides and I think I almost got sick on the octopus/spider thingy. We begged my dad to take us on the spinny do-hickies and get us spinning really really fast. We were all green after that. Later on, we secretly ate all of the fried chicken while the people were gone and had a water fight. It was the most pathetic excuse for a water fight, but it was still fun. If we were to do that now around those same people, I would not have been as carefree as I was back then.

You were the coolest Saxman ever. No one could play better than you. When your fingers pressed those keys and air came out of that horn, it was not the sound of dying quails, burning in oil. No, it was the sound of all the angels singing harmoniously as one.... Or something like that.





This was your 15th birthday. Your mom took you and I to Dickies and then to get our nails done. I remember this day because I remember going to the bathroom a lot. I had a bunch of vanilla pudding the days preceding this one, and it was giving me stomach problems. 



This was pretty much our relationship.

You Loved me enough to accept my weird obsession with Pokemon.








I wasn't allowed to dye my hair, but we loved to dye yours.

Rebecca Lauryn Jabr, you were once everything to me. When we got in an argument, I would call you, crying, to tell you I was sorry. I had no one else. We told each other absolutely everything. I thought it was you tearing us apart. I thought your chemical imbalance was a bunch of crap. I was brought up to believe that there is no such thing as mental problems. People are just making excuses to get medication so that they can become numb. I have come to realize that it is not the case. You were in pain. Deep emotional pain. And I realize now that I was only adding on that pain. All this time, I believe that I was the reason you were unhappy. Over time, my problems were becoming your problems. I was a horrible friend to you and you don't deserve that. You never deserved that. I understand you are doing much better now and I'm so happy for you. You don't need me anymore. That's great. After all of the pain and misery you have suffered, I'm glad to see you are doing well. I hope there are many more blessings coming your way.

"The way to love anything is to realize it may be lost." -G.K. Chesterton

"I am nothing special, of this I am sure. I am a common man with common thoughts and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten, but I've loved another with all my heart and soul, and to me, this has always been enough..." -Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

Rachael Alterman