NOTE: This post was originally written Jan. 15, 2016. I got into some trouble over this post so I took it down for awhile. I am re-posting it now because, well... I can. It's my writing. It's one of my favorite things I've written. When I wrote this, I felt very passionate about what I was saying. Anything that makes me feel passionate about my writing is something I think deserves to be published, regardless of the consequences.
As we grow older, we learn new things. Obviously that's going to happen. I've gone through a lot just in the past year. Seems as if I'm in that weird phase in my life where I'm figuring things out for myself and learning lessons on my own. I've had my heart broken so much, I've been hurt terribly, and I have hurt people. As much as I hate to say it, these things had to happen. The people who hurt you teach you to not give yourself away too easy. You harden your heart and that's okay. You find out what you do and don't like in a person. After I dated J, I realized how much I really don't like someone who is dependent on me. You shouldn't be with someone who feeds off of your happiness. It's especially hard for happy, optimistic people like me. We have so much love and positivity to give, but we tend to get taken advantage of because we like to make others happy. But of course, we learn from the hurt we experience. You can't make everyone happy. It's impossible. But that's okay. There are some people that just don't want to be happy. There are people that envy happy people so much that they go out of their way to bring them down. That is a huge lesson I've learned in the past few months.
As we grow older, we learn new things. Obviously that's going to happen. I've gone through a lot just in the past year. Seems as if I'm in that weird phase in my life where I'm figuring things out for myself and learning lessons on my own. I've had my heart broken so much, I've been hurt terribly, and I have hurt people. As much as I hate to say it, these things had to happen. The people who hurt you teach you to not give yourself away too easy. You harden your heart and that's okay. You find out what you do and don't like in a person. After I dated J, I realized how much I really don't like someone who is dependent on me. You shouldn't be with someone who feeds off of your happiness. It's especially hard for happy, optimistic people like me. We have so much love and positivity to give, but we tend to get taken advantage of because we like to make others happy. But of course, we learn from the hurt we experience. You can't make everyone happy. It's impossible. But that's okay. There are some people that just don't want to be happy. There are people that envy happy people so much that they go out of their way to bring them down. That is a huge lesson I've learned in the past few months.
I work with a woman who I think is a really negative person. She likes to talk a lot about things I think are totally pointless. But then again, I think a lot of the things the people I work with talk about are pointless. (I don't relate to anyone there.) This particular lady is very outspoken and "honest." By "honest," I mean she likes to share her own opinion that no one really asked for. I don't want to get into a lot of detail, but basically, I always feel like I'm being judged by her... Because I am being judged by her. I don't care what her opinion of me is. She is irrelevant to my life, but I don't like the way she internally brings down other people. To me, she tries to be all high and mighty but really, she's insecure. She puts others down to feel good about herself. The sad things is, there are so many more people out there just like that. I sometimes wonder how a person can do that. Yes, I will admit I have had cruel thoughts of people I do and don't know, but I would never say them aloud. Saying those things doesn't make you honest, it makes you a word that I choose not to use..... It starts with a B.
The way I look at it, you shouldn't really even be thinking hurtful things about anyone. I try my best to see the good in everyone. I have always done that, but when you are placed into an environment where everyone is judgmental, you could become like that. "Birds of a feather flock together."
It's been said that the best way to keep a positive aura is to constantly be feeding yourself positivity. Everyday, tell yourself positive affirmations.
"I am strong."
"I am beautiful"
"I am happy."
When you say these things, you put that out into the universe. There is a difference between positive affirmations and having a big ego. An ego can be something you use to tell yourself how much better you are than other people. A positive affirmation doesn't tear anyone else down, but rather builds yourself up. It gives you a good, healthy amount of self-esteem. Whenever you start to think negatively about yourself, catch yourself and redirect your thoughts. You might not believe what you're saying to yourself at first, but soon enough, you'll start to notice changes. You will look in the mirror and you'll look different. You will be pleased with yourself. Every morning when I look in the mirror, I am close to happy with what I see. Yes, I have physical flaws. Scarring, acne, large pores, a weird nose... But you'll start to see your flaws differently. You'll realize that these are the things you're stuck with. These flaws are a part of you. As you think more positively about yourself, you will realize how these flaws make you unique and beautiful. Embrace your flaws.
"I am strong."
"I am beautiful"
"I am happy."
When you say these things, you put that out into the universe. There is a difference between positive affirmations and having a big ego. An ego can be something you use to tell yourself how much better you are than other people. A positive affirmation doesn't tear anyone else down, but rather builds yourself up. It gives you a good, healthy amount of self-esteem. Whenever you start to think negatively about yourself, catch yourself and redirect your thoughts. You might not believe what you're saying to yourself at first, but soon enough, you'll start to notice changes. You will look in the mirror and you'll look different. You will be pleased with yourself. Every morning when I look in the mirror, I am close to happy with what I see. Yes, I have physical flaws. Scarring, acne, large pores, a weird nose... But you'll start to see your flaws differently. You'll realize that these are the things you're stuck with. These flaws are a part of you. As you think more positively about yourself, you will realize how these flaws make you unique and beautiful. Embrace your flaws.
Due to the fact that I have not written in a very long time, I could go on and on and on about lessons I've learned this past year, but I will spare you... This time. I have received comments saying my posts are really long, so I will be working on that. I know people nowadays have shorter attention spans thanks to apps like Vine, Instagram, Snapchat, etc.
I would like to share a little goal setting with you. I am planning to post much more often and get back into writing. I started my book, hopefully I can finish it this year. My blog goals are to post a "long," topic-based post twice a month (15th and 30th), and short little devotionals/quotes/poems every day or so. 2016 will be a great year full of change for Rachael.
God bless you and God bless America
- Rachael
- Rachael
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