Inspiration Or A Cry For Help?

I recently bought a book by a very amazing woman that I look up to. Terri Brady's Letters to Lindsey. She is a former engineer, now a blogger, mom, and wife. (This is just a note to her: Terri, if you ever read this, I want you to know how much I look up to you. You are an amazing influence and role model.) I wish I could have said this to her when she signed my book. Yeah, that's right. I got my book signed by her. I always thought she was really pretty from a distance, but up close, she's SUPER pretty. She has soft blue eyes that radiate joy and make you feel safe. I would have liked to tell her that she was my inspiration for writing my blog. Unfortunately, I was so nervous and didn't want something that sounded bad to come out (even though she knows it is God's place to judge, not hers). Regardless, I couldn't say anything but thank you. Before I could leave, she said "Thank you for waiting." Just that little remark made me feel better about myself. Maybe it was because of the aura she gave off, or maybe because people (besides my awesome parents) rarely say nice things to me.
So I guess I should tell you what her book is about right? Okay, it's a compilation of her blog posts. There are cute little sticky notes in the sidebars that have quotes from her children. Almost all of her posts are about how motherhood teaches her life lessons. There's humor, there's sadness, and overall there's inspiration. Five years ago, Terri was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Before then, she was struggling with infertility. She tells her stories and how her friends, family, and God helped her to get through it. Personally, I wasn't a big sap for inspirational, life-threatening stories until I got involved with the community I am with now. In many ways, I was inspired about how amazing God truly is. But there was something inside of me saying that there is nothing special about me. Whoa... Harsh much? Let me explain. It seems like the only thing that really gets people closer to God is going through a really dark time and finding the light, whether it be medical problems, death, or some other tragic event. I've never gone through anything like that. I mean, my cat died when I was 11, but I got over that pretty quick. My parents are happily married, we have a house that is about to fall apart but it's still tolerable, and I got everything I wanted as a child (except a car, but that's a story for a later post). I have a pretty good life. I don't have many friends, but I would rather be friendless than have people poisoning me with poor thinking. The point of all of this is to say that I've really never been involved in a "dream, struggle, victory" situation. And maybe that's my own fault. Do I really have a dream that I'm willing to struggle so I can have my victory? I suppose not. What I would like to ask someone is "what does God have planned for me?", but the only one that knows is God himself. Once in my youth group, my leader gave the analogy of a stitching hoop. The hoop is over us and when we look up, all we can see is a huge mess, while God is looking down on this beautiful piece of work. It just makes me realize that He is all knowing and He has it all planned out for us.
Now I want to make everyone reading aware that I am only a 17-year-old girl and I'm still just a child. I don't understand everything yet. I will never understand everything. But I do know that one day, God will put a difficult trial in my way that I will be able to get through with hard work and determination. Maybe I'm in one and I just can't tell. The title is not to say that people put out their inspirational stories so that they can get attention. No, people do that so they can help others get through their tough times. Know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and God is always with you.

Thank you to everyone that reads my blog and special thanks to Mrs. Terri Brady. May God continue to shine light in your life (which I know he will). www.terribradyblog.com
I love hearing stories! Message me your dreams, struggles, and/or victories. God bless you and God bless America!

- Rachael A.
I AM SPARTACUS!